So, here we are...my first ever blog post as a mommy. Yes, if you have been living under a proverbial cyber rock, you may not know that on October 11th, all of my dreams came true. My life was changed forever when my son, Holden Salvatore, was born at 8:14PM, 7.4lbs and 19.5 inches long.
I won't go into his birth story in detail since it's not overwhelmingly interesting. I went in for my 38 week check up, I was 100% effaced and 4cm dilated (it turns out, I was in active labor for about 2 full days before that and didn't realize it), so they decided it was time for baby to come out before my water broke and his foot ehhh... popped out. That was at 3pm and by 8:14pm, he was here and I was changed forever.
There were a lot of things I thought would happen after I became a mom, and I grossly underestimated them all. This little miracle was mine, I made him, and he depended on me. That is a lot to handle emotionally....the emotions of loving someone else more than you could ever imagine loving any human being in the entire world kind of hits you hard. So I cried. A LOT. I cried when he cried. I cried when he pooped (awww look at the black, tar-ish, nasty poop!). I cried when I looked at my husband (he gave me the most beautiful baby boy ever!). I cried when I fed him. I even cried when I thought about him but he was sleeping in the next room! I tried to sing to him, and I cried and couldn't get through a song. And then I heard the song, Lullaby, by Billy Joel on my Pandora radio and I really lost my shit. This is a public service announcement to all new moms- Do not listen to that song as a new mom. Actually, I don't think I will ever be able to listen to that song ever again without bawling my eyes out. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that all of my tears are the happy kind...but I just wasn't expecting to become such a blubbering fool about everything.
Now, it's 2 months later, and I cried yesterday because I already have to pack up my baby's newborn sized clothes.He is swiftly growing out of his 0-3 month outfits and I am not really sure how time is moving so fast. Tomorrow night, my husband and I will make a little toast to our baby boy at 8:14pm to celebrate his 2 months of being on this Earth, and for making us the happiest people in the world. And, I'm sure,as I look at his now smiling (yes, real smiles!) round face...I will cry. Gotta love being a mommy <3
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